bittersweet.

I've learned so much over this past year. My feet are getting itchy, and I think I'm ready to go!

I'm about a month or so away from saying good bye to the nati, and hello to the land of green, green, green. I can't begin to explain my excitement for everything finally piecing together, but my sadness of saying good bye to everything I've ever known. It's a little bittersweet. Never would I have thought that at the age of eighteen (now nineteen), I would be applying for a visa. With that said, i received my confirmation number today! It's now just a matter of getting the rest of the visa over here in the states figured out and finding the rest of those funds I'm still very in need of.

james 1:2-4

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

A few months ago a friend told me she felt that after this next year while I'm away, that I will fully become who God wants me to be. At the time, that didn't make much sense to me. But when I heard this verse, I realized what she meant. Right now, God is allowing me to struggle so that I may grow. He's allowing me to be nervous about the money so that I may cling closer to Him. He's giving me this time so that I will learn that He is always faithful, and never goes back on His word. When I am finally able to understand these things, I will have gained real faith in Jesus Christ and therefore maturing me and completing me so that "I may lack nothing."

an exciting update.

As of last Thursday, the visa process has now taken place!! Please be praying that all goes well with this portion of the visa and that the church would be approved.

I've been in kind of a funk lately. Trying to please everyone and all their great ideas on how to get me to Ireland safe and sound. I haven't had the time to visit with friends like I used to, and I've been a little clingy with my family. There's been a lot of my plate with graduating and work, not to mention the aspect of funds yet again worrying my mind away. Honestly, I've been so afraid. Afraid that I heard God wrong, afraid the funds won't come, afraid of messing up in front of everyone I know. Then in the midst of my fears, I received a card and inside, there was this quote, "God doesn't call the qualified, he qualifies the called." I'm now trying to rest on that quote and the knowledge that this IS God's plan for me, and all I need to do is be faithful and just believe.

Thanks Mrs. Finke for that bit of inspiration.