the rambles of my head and heart.

August 8, 2010 - "Today, I sit in Ireland. Received a last minute call where I was asked "How fast can you pack!?" God is crazy I tell ya, He's takin me on a whirl wind of a year. I feel He's given me this opportunity to come, to prepare my heart for what is about to be. Just as I've been asking Him to do."

August 13, 2010 - "This week has been a continue to a constant battle cry. The word surrender has come up rather often and questions of the internship as well as finances have popped about as well. I have allowed room for vulnerability and have become more honest with God. I feel frustrated and upset with Him. I feel I've done my portion of the work, so why won't He do His? This dream He has given me, I now want more than anything else in the world. In the midst of my fear, I look out the window over looking the town and hear God say to me "This is what I've promised you." Time and time again words of God's promise and faithfullness have been spoken to me. But yet, I still have trouble believing God will provide the funds that I need. Then in this same moment, I know that He will. It's a teeter back and forth. I'm afraid. Afraid of looking like a fool. Afraid of falling short. Afraid of not being able to finish because the money runs dry."

August 18, 2010 - "Today was awful. Never have I been so upset I literally could not breathe and felt physically nausious. This visa process is taking a toll on me. However, I've come to realize that it's not as bad as it could be. It's only another bump in the road. things will work out, if I just keep treckin. I'll get over there eventually and no matter how hard it is, giving up isn't the answer."