all i see is green.

I received my visa about two weeks ago (finally) via the great UPS!! Today, I sit thousands of miles away from home in my new room at my new home. Saying goodbye was the hardest thing I’ve ever in my life had to do. Poor Jennah (my oldest niece) was crying so hard her little body was shaking. Tears flowed rapidly most of Monday evening, and even harder at the airport when I said goodbye to the parents. Never could I have imagined it being as hard and utterly depressing, yet exciting as it was.

But now, I am HERE!! I made it, through all the many ups and downs of this process. I feel I have conquered something great. Something new. I am just as thrilled and excited as I am completely terrified. Although I am a very independent person, never have I lived on my own. I have never had to manage my money in a way to live off. Luckily though I am good at stretching my dollars (or I guess pounds now). I feel intimidated. Beginning something at the bottom of the stairwell, looking up. I’m thankful for being in a place where so far I feel comfortable to ask questions and ask for help. It will be good. Maybe hard at times, but good on many levels.

I sit down with the two pastors of VCD for the first time this afternoon. We’ll be talking about the internship and what it entails. I am highly nervous for the internship. Basically because I don’t want to look a fool. There’s a lot to think about and focus on. But it’s good to be uncomfortable, allows room to stretch and grow. I am thrilled!!

I’d love your continued prayers, and please let me know if there’s anything I can be praying over you as well.

Be a blessing!!

the rambles of my head and heart.

August 8, 2010 - "Today, I sit in Ireland. Received a last minute call where I was asked "How fast can you pack!?" God is crazy I tell ya, He's takin me on a whirl wind of a year. I feel He's given me this opportunity to come, to prepare my heart for what is about to be. Just as I've been asking Him to do."

August 13, 2010 - "This week has been a continue to a constant battle cry. The word surrender has come up rather often and questions of the internship as well as finances have popped about as well. I have allowed room for vulnerability and have become more honest with God. I feel frustrated and upset with Him. I feel I've done my portion of the work, so why won't He do His? This dream He has given me, I now want more than anything else in the world. In the midst of my fear, I look out the window over looking the town and hear God say to me "This is what I've promised you." Time and time again words of God's promise and faithfullness have been spoken to me. But yet, I still have trouble believing God will provide the funds that I need. Then in this same moment, I know that He will. It's a teeter back and forth. I'm afraid. Afraid of looking like a fool. Afraid of falling short. Afraid of not being able to finish because the money runs dry."

August 18, 2010 - "Today was awful. Never have I been so upset I literally could not breathe and felt physically nausious. This visa process is taking a toll on me. However, I've come to realize that it's not as bad as it could be. It's only another bump in the road. things will work out, if I just keep treckin. I'll get over there eventually and no matter how hard it is, giving up isn't the answer."

visas and a little reassurance.

Who knew applying for a visa could take so much work? After countless phone calls, numerous voice mails and recordings, I've finally made a little progress. Today I was able to get in touch with someone in Chicago who knew what they were talking about. She told me if all my paperwork was correct I could get approved in as quickly as five days, or as long as sixteen days.

It's been a long process which I've felt overwhelmed and defeated by at times. I feel reassured knowing I could be sitting on a plane very soon! Look's like it's almost time to pack those bags!