"Surround yourself with people who will challenge you. If God puts a dream in you, by all means go for it - but on that journey, don't lose sight of Him. Seek wise counsel then evaluate it against what God called you to do. Always keep tomorrow in mind, but don't lose sight of today, and be okay with failing."

One month and two days ago, I arrived on a plane from Cincinnati following God's will for my life. Stepping out in faith as I wander into the unknown of what is yet to come. Unsure if I had the funds to live off for the next year of my life and living each day on a hope and a prayer.

I now stand here on the other side of this dream in which I'm living, joyful, hopeful and feeling undeserving by the blessings each and everyday. I'm falling more and more in love with God everyday and can feel his presence around me all the time. I feel at peace by the little insights He has/is revealing to me and am overwhelmed by the love that is being poured out from God through others to me. The genuine care the people here have for me blows my mind. God is truly working here in this country, in this church, and in myself as well.

Thank you for your love, support and prayers. They mean the world to me and I am so grateful for them, and for you.

all i see is green.

I received my visa about two weeks ago (finally) via the great UPS!! Today, I sit thousands of miles away from home in my new room at my new home. Saying goodbye was the hardest thing I’ve ever in my life had to do. Poor Jennah (my oldest niece) was crying so hard her little body was shaking. Tears flowed rapidly most of Monday evening, and even harder at the airport when I said goodbye to the parents. Never could I have imagined it being as hard and utterly depressing, yet exciting as it was.

But now, I am HERE!! I made it, through all the many ups and downs of this process. I feel I have conquered something great. Something new. I am just as thrilled and excited as I am completely terrified. Although I am a very independent person, never have I lived on my own. I have never had to manage my money in a way to live off. Luckily though I am good at stretching my dollars (or I guess pounds now). I feel intimidated. Beginning something at the bottom of the stairwell, looking up. I’m thankful for being in a place where so far I feel comfortable to ask questions and ask for help. It will be good. Maybe hard at times, but good on many levels.

I sit down with the two pastors of VCD for the first time this afternoon. We’ll be talking about the internship and what it entails. I am highly nervous for the internship. Basically because I don’t want to look a fool. There’s a lot to think about and focus on. But it’s good to be uncomfortable, allows room to stretch and grow. I am thrilled!!

I’d love your continued prayers, and please let me know if there’s anything I can be praying over you as well.

Be a blessing!!

the rambles of my head and heart.

August 8, 2010 - "Today, I sit in Ireland. Received a last minute call where I was asked "How fast can you pack!?" God is crazy I tell ya, He's takin me on a whirl wind of a year. I feel He's given me this opportunity to come, to prepare my heart for what is about to be. Just as I've been asking Him to do."

August 13, 2010 - "This week has been a continue to a constant battle cry. The word surrender has come up rather often and questions of the internship as well as finances have popped about as well. I have allowed room for vulnerability and have become more honest with God. I feel frustrated and upset with Him. I feel I've done my portion of the work, so why won't He do His? This dream He has given me, I now want more than anything else in the world. In the midst of my fear, I look out the window over looking the town and hear God say to me "This is what I've promised you." Time and time again words of God's promise and faithfullness have been spoken to me. But yet, I still have trouble believing God will provide the funds that I need. Then in this same moment, I know that He will. It's a teeter back and forth. I'm afraid. Afraid of looking like a fool. Afraid of falling short. Afraid of not being able to finish because the money runs dry."

August 18, 2010 - "Today was awful. Never have I been so upset I literally could not breathe and felt physically nausious. This visa process is taking a toll on me. However, I've come to realize that it's not as bad as it could be. It's only another bump in the road. things will work out, if I just keep treckin. I'll get over there eventually and no matter how hard it is, giving up isn't the answer."

visas and a little reassurance.

Who knew applying for a visa could take so much work? After countless phone calls, numerous voice mails and recordings, I've finally made a little progress. Today I was able to get in touch with someone in Chicago who knew what they were talking about. She told me if all my paperwork was correct I could get approved in as quickly as five days, or as long as sixteen days.

It's been a long process which I've felt overwhelmed and defeated by at times. I feel reassured knowing I could be sitting on a plane very soon! Look's like it's almost time to pack those bags!

bittersweet.

I've learned so much over this past year. My feet are getting itchy, and I think I'm ready to go!

I'm about a month or so away from saying good bye to the nati, and hello to the land of green, green, green. I can't begin to explain my excitement for everything finally piecing together, but my sadness of saying good bye to everything I've ever known. It's a little bittersweet. Never would I have thought that at the age of eighteen (now nineteen), I would be applying for a visa. With that said, i received my confirmation number today! It's now just a matter of getting the rest of the visa over here in the states figured out and finding the rest of those funds I'm still very in need of.

james 1:2-4

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

A few months ago a friend told me she felt that after this next year while I'm away, that I will fully become who God wants me to be. At the time, that didn't make much sense to me. But when I heard this verse, I realized what she meant. Right now, God is allowing me to struggle so that I may grow. He's allowing me to be nervous about the money so that I may cling closer to Him. He's giving me this time so that I will learn that He is always faithful, and never goes back on His word. When I am finally able to understand these things, I will have gained real faith in Jesus Christ and therefore maturing me and completing me so that "I may lack nothing."

an exciting update.

As of last Thursday, the visa process has now taken place!! Please be praying that all goes well with this portion of the visa and that the church would be approved.

I've been in kind of a funk lately. Trying to please everyone and all their great ideas on how to get me to Ireland safe and sound. I haven't had the time to visit with friends like I used to, and I've been a little clingy with my family. There's been a lot of my plate with graduating and work, not to mention the aspect of funds yet again worrying my mind away. Honestly, I've been so afraid. Afraid that I heard God wrong, afraid the funds won't come, afraid of messing up in front of everyone I know. Then in the midst of my fears, I received a card and inside, there was this quote, "God doesn't call the qualified, he qualifies the called." I'm now trying to rest on that quote and the knowledge that this IS God's plan for me, and all I need to do is be faithful and just believe.

Thanks Mrs. Finke for that bit of inspiration.

the support letter.

Dear Friends and Family,

Last summer I had the opportunity to travel to Northern Ireland on a short term missions trip. I was given the chance to get out of my comfort zone as I prayed for people in the streets, befriended the locals, led kids clubs, served the local community by painting houses, and encouraged the local church. I gained close friends, and an even closer family. Shortly after arriving home, an opportunity arrived for me to be an intern at Vineyard Church Dungannon in Northern Ireland.

When this idea first came up, I brushed the idea off, but it kept stirring in the back of my mind. I didn’t want to make any decisions based off my emotions, so I asked three people whom I have a high respect for to pray for me. I did not tell these people what they were praying for because I didn’t want the idea of an internship in another country to get in the way as they prayed. Eventually, the three individuals came to me one by one, all expressing similar thoughts:

1. I was having a difficult time being home due to the connection I had made with the
people in Ireland.
2. There was a “next step” and possible missions opportunity for me in Ireland
3. That I was supposed to go and not worry because it’s where God was taking me.

This only confirmed what I felt the Lord was saying to me, which was to lay my life and my dreams down and follow His plans.

During my internship, I’ll have the chance to be apart of the following.

Service Coordinator - Ensuring smooth running and effective church services
Lava - A cross-community youth club aimed at largely non-churched kids/help lead small groups
The Press - The cafe run by the church targeting people outside the church
Kids Ministry - To both churched kids and non
Administrative work

These are just a few things I’ll be a part of doing. There is so much going on over there right now, and I can’t begin to explain the excitement and joy I have filling my spirit.

I'm excited and nervous about the opportunity that God has laid before me, and I’m trusting Him to help me sort out the details to make it happen. The internship is not paid, and with my visa I will be unable to hold a job. This means all money for living expenses has to come from supporters and money saved from my part time job in the states. It’s going to take about $8,000 to $10,000 for me to live over seas for one year. This number will cover living expenses such as rent, utilities, gas, food, toiletries, etc. If you would like to be part of this mission through your monthly support or any contribution, please send an email by May 1st, 2010 to starlightdaisey@yahoo.com.

I believe with everything in me that this is where I’m supposed to go and what I’m supposed to do. I know that our God is a great God, and He knows what He is doing, so I have surrendered my life to Him. My prayer is that not only would you support me in prayer, but financially as well. It’s obvious that it will be a life changing experience, but I’m more excited for the people’s lives I’ll have a chance to touch and impact while there. I pray for blessings over each of you and your family’s lives. Thank you in advance for your time and support.

Sincerely,
Meredith Tillery

here we go.

It's a scary thing to put yourself out there while explaining this calling God has on your life and asking for money along the way. One of the many lessons I'm learning and working on. It's this whole "God, I hate asking people for money" thing. Then there's the whole faith issue as well, "Okay God I know that I know that I know Northern Ireland is where you're leading me, and I know you'll provide the means (money) for this to happen, but God, this is scary. I'm terrified."

I believe in God and have full faith in Him, please don't get me wrong. But it's scary to stand on a limb saying "Okay God here I am, do with me what you will and provide the means along the way." I'm learning that faith is easier said than done. It's not easy to have faith in something you can't see, at least not for me. I guess it's all a learning experience really, and isn't that really the point, to grow?